Insecurities, Personal Experiences, School/Career

A Day Better Spent

Today I blew off working on a big English essay to help my little sister learn to ride her bike, going to lunch with my mom and friends, and holding my sister’s hand while she got her ears pierced.

There’s part of me, probably the bigger part, that cringes when I think of how much time I wasted, time that could have been spent perfecting that essay.

But you know what?

In reality, that time was much better spent with what I did.

In 20 years, what will I likely remember more: the problems in Les Miserables, or my baby sister growing up?

Hopefully the latter.

Why is our society like this? Why have we decided that it’s ok to make the average high school student’s life literally revolve around school? Don’t get me wrong, I think school is really important. Learning is important, and that’s the primary focus of schools. But the whole system has evolved into something more horrifying. It’s terrible that kids (yes, they’re still kids) think that they can make or break the whole rest of their lives with what they do now, in school.

Yes, learning is important. But stressing out every single moment of every single day about tests, grades, homework, etc., is not. What’s important is to take school seriously, yes (because it does matter and it is important), but also to take a break once in a while. It’s important to lift your head up and take that breath of fresh air in the form of other things you enjoy: music, drawing, writing, spending time with loved ones. Because if you don’t, you’ll surely drown.

I’m likely not going to change my ways because of this. Tomorrow I’m going to spend hours finishing that essay, I’m sure. It’ll probably cut into most of my sleep! But I’ll remember to realize that experiences are okay. Spending time with family is okay. Maybe I’ll take a break, and we’ll try that bike one more time.

(Update: A year later, I read what I wrote above, and realize that I got an “A” on that essay. And my sister has mastered the bike.)

Insecurities, Poems

Changed Views

I wake up
And look out the window.
The beautiful snow glistens and sparkles.
I am six years old, and unafraid.

I wake up
And look out the window.
The annoying snow is speckled and in the way.
I’m sixteen years old, and ignored.

I wake up
And look out the window.
The dirty snow is messy and a pile of slush.
I’m thirty-six years old, and overworked.

I wake up
And look out the window.
The lively snow glistens and sparkles.
I’m sixty-six years old, and unafraid.

Chronic Illness, Disability, Insecurities, Poems, Transverse Myelitis

One More Time

When hope
Has faltered;

When the last
Straw is gone;

When the world is dark,
Deep clouds
That cover
The
Sun;

When the towel’s
Thrown;

When loneliness
Has grown;

When it seems there’s nowhere,
Nowhere to go;

When the answer to all
Seems to be ‘no’;

Just
Listen to the wind chime,

Remember
Life’s a mountain to climb,

Look at
All that’s in its prime,

And try,

Try
One
More
Time.

Chronic Illness, Disability, Friendship, Insecurities, Poems, Transverse Myelitis

Everything We Love

Personally I find this slightly cheesy, but that’s ok. Also, this was supposed to be a song as well, but again I got lazy and just tweaked it to be a poem. 🙂
Appreciate
The things
That are
Loved.

For those things
Can be taken
Gone
In an instant.

In a snap of fingers,
A puff of breath,
A tick of a clock,
A skip of a rock.

Keep the seconds
Of the life that we live
Counted.

Because everything we know,
Everything we have,
Everything we love,
Can go.

Take care of the things
That can be gone.

They can leave

In a snap of fingers,
A puff of breath,
In a tick of a clock,
The skip of a rock.

If we appreciate
Anything at all

If we appreciate
Things big and small

If we count
the seconds
Of
The
Life
We live
All the time,

We’ll know
That
Everything we love
Can
Go.

Friendship, Insecurities, My Favorites, Poems

The Golden Flower

The flower
In the flower patch
Is different.

It lies
Golden yellow
In a sea of blue.

It has no one,
No one to compare to,
And it feels
Alone.

The others,
The sea of blue,
Is one.
Together,
They decide.
Together,
They mock
The poor golden flower.

The young boy
In the schoolhouse
Is different.

He is peaceful
In a sea of chaos.

The boy goes out,
Out to the flower patch,
Crying.

One by one
He pulls
Every blue flower
As golden one
Watches in horror.

Across the flower patch
He sees a girl
A girl who’s peaceful.

He takes the sea,
The sea of blue flowers,
To her,
And together
They walk into
The sunset.

The golden flower
No longer looks
At the peaceful
Boy and girl,
As the sea of blue
Is now gone,
Revealing
What
Was
Hidden.

Revealing
Another golden flower.

Friendship, Insecurities, Poems

The Tree

The tree, leaves so green, flowers so bright,
Is
Sad.
Its leaves are dropping,
Dripping
With
Rain,
Filled with despair.

The tree, leaves so green, flowers so bright,
Is
Happy.
Hugging me
With
Shade,
Filled with joy.

The tree, leaves so green, flowers so bright,
Is
Scared.
Shaking
In the
Wind,
Filled with fear.

I miss those days when
The tree, leaves so green, flowers so bright,
Would tell me
How it felt.

But now I’m grown;
Now I know
That trees cannot do such.

But wait.

Is that the tree
Saying he’s crushed?

I can feel the tree beaming with pride
When I decide to stop

And
Say
Goodbye.